Pushed Away His Pierced Hands

In Matthew 26, Judas Iscariot betrays Jesus by taking money from the chief priests to deliver Him into their hands.

I always read this portion of the text and start to get so upset that Judas would do something so wild and unloving. But, then I remember a verse from Lecrae's song "Boasting" that says "We never loved Him; we pushed away His pierced hands."

Every time we sin, we're seeing Jesus on the cross and turning our back on Him. We're seeing the sacrifice He made for us and choosing to ignore it so that we can seek joy out somewhere else. Just like Judas couldn't see the eternal consequences of his actions, we also tend to turn to the most immediate joy, not thinking about whether it will harm us later.

I've experienced it with the things I've let my eyes see, the things I've let my money buy, the people I've spent my time with, and the words or phrases I've let come out of my mouth. It makes me feel a little sick to know that Jesus died on a cross so that I could still go to Heaven after making the decision to do some of those stupid things.

Now I try to think about the scene from "The Passion" when Jesus is getting beaten and hung on the cross whenever any temptation rises up against me. I imagine myself looking Jesus in the eyes and seeing all the pain that He's going through for me - at that very moment. How can you think about someone going through so much physical and spiritual pain for you and still choose to turn away? I think the only way to continually turn toward temptation is if you never allow yourself to look at the crucifixion in the first place. The only way to possibly choose sin over and over again is if you never saw Jesus on that cross for you, but instead turned and walked away in order to live in ignorance of the gift you were offered.

Will I see the pain and forgiveness in His eyes and worship Him, or will I divert my eyes so that I will feel okay living in my sin?